Prejudice

“You like to finish things.” When my teacher, Pal Pandian, spoke these words to me years ago, I had no idea what he meant. These many years later there continues to be an unfolding from those five words. By unfolding I mean to say that the sentence continues to reveal the many shades of myself. And, why shouldn’t it? After all, the sentence was in reply to a question I had asked, “What is my real knot, Sir?” One aspect of liking to finish things is the tendency to continue to seek a landing spot, a place of achievement that promises an end.

Once a friend relayed a story to me that touched him. It was about people who had boarded a train. They were all very excited to finally have the golden ticket to the train and had waited lifetimes for this one chance. As they all boarded and stowed their luggage, they eagerly exchanged stories of the eventual destination. The talk of the destination dominated all their interactions. For years and years, they rode this train never taking note of the train itself nor of the journey the train was taking them. Their attention and energy were solely focused on the destination, that station they all were compulsively waiting to arrive at. Only then would they begin to live. Of course, they all waited in vain, aged, and eventually died on the train. There was no station. There never was a destination. The golden ticket was the journey itself.

The habit of not asking questions and instead sitting there like a mute donkey is an insidious habit that begs me to acknowledge. It is a clear example of prejudice. When hearing or encountering anything, whether for the first or hundredth time, the tendency to pretend that I know it automatically arises. Not understanding something without questioning allows the conditioned mind to attempt to fill in the gaps. Prejudice emerges. Then there is no journey only sitting on the train dreaming of a static state.

As I question myself more and more these days, reaching conclusions can come in a thousand ways each day. One very noticeable example is when speaking with another. How quick it is to begin assessing what they are speaking of instead of listening without boundaries of preconception. Slowly, it is becoming an adventure that I am finding to be very enjoyable. Often I find myself not actually listening to learn but only to reply. Yet, some of the time I catch that tendency and fall back. I love those moments and it is an extremely intimate feeling. I don’t know how else to describe it.

We never like to sit through the journey.

As the journey through the unknowable 

makes non-existing experience to mind,

we always pretend we know it.

Conclusion without making journey

is known as prejudice.

- Pal Pandian