My journey with Sai – The beginning
First encounter
The first time that I was introduced to Sai Baba was in 2012. I was living in Cologne, Germany; and a dear friend of mine was organizing an event for spirituality and healing. While we were still handling the setup for the event, a man called Hari approached the venue with a friendly and heartfelt smile, and I felt directly drawn to him. We spoke for a short while, and he explained that he is running the Sai Baba temple in Frankfurt. He did bring a Murti of Sai Baba along for this event. At the end of our conversation he told me, that he could sense a connection between Baba and me - for my part I only knew at that moment that I liked him much. That was my first encounter with Baba, or with one of his close devotees.
Over the next years, I met Hari several times again and also visited his temple in Frankfurt. I always enjoyed talking to him and spending time at the temple next to Baba’s Murti. This peaceful feeling, the family-like setup, and the openness towards every guest made me always feel welcomed and included.
Sometime later a close friend kept inviting me to visit him in India, but it took a while before the call went through on my end. In January 2019 I finally went for the first time. By the guidance of my soon-to-be teacher Pal Pandian, whom I hadn’t met at this point, the very first place I would visit in India became Shirdi. Looking back, starting this new chapter of my life with the Blessings of Sai Baba, I am deeply grateful for his instructions!
In Shirdi, I was meeting my friend and two more people who came along with him, and we intended to stay there for a whole week. Since I had been introduced to Baba already in Germany, I knew where I was heading, but had no idea what was waiting for me - first time in India and especially first time in Shirdi.
Coming home
After spending the first day in Shirdi, having Darshan together in Dwarkamai, listening to the Aartis from outside the Mandir, and being in a completely new world, I was overwhelmed by joy and happiness. I could feel and enjoy everything more intensely: the food, the noises and smells, all the friendly people around us, the laughter we had but also the silence and a deeper grounded happiness within me. The next day we went to the early morning Aarti in Samadhi Mandir. Queuing up at 3 a.m. with hundreds of other devotees felt like the most normal thing to do. And it was to me. After a delicious breakfast, we were wandering through the small streets around the temple, and this realization came to me: for the first time in my life I felt that there was nothing to do (anymore), nowhere to go, nothing to achieve or become. Only being here is enough - I found a home! This was such a profound moment, which I couldn’t really comprehend at that time. Probably I am still digesting it, even more than 5 years later.
The feeling of overflowing bliss and joy was prominent over the whole week. A big part of me just wanted to immerse more deeply into this presence. I spent every moment as close and joyful to Baba as possible, attending every morning Aarti, sitting every day in Dwarkamai and at the Neem tree, but also talking to many other devotees, exchanging smiles, “Om Sai Ram’s” and Baba’s Prasad. What a rush! The week passed by so quickly, and on the last day I felt showered with more blessings and gifts than I could ever be able to hold.
Even though I was heading to my next adventure in Tiruvannamalai, i felt sad that I had to leave. My heart wanted to stay. The more I surrender to Baba’s love and the organic flow of this sacred place, the more I feel the longing to immerse more deeply in it. The further I walk away from Shirdi, the more I am getting sad and unhappy - like leaving father and mother at once.
Like a child
On another visit, I witnessed an incident which might illustrate it better than I would ever be able to express: Sitting in Dwarkamai, I was meditating and spending time in the divine presence. As always, people were flocking in to have Darshan. Whole families visited Baba to pay their respect and to ask for his blessings. On this day a mother entered Dwarkamai with her maybe five-year-old son. They climbed up the few stairs to the Dhuni and got Darshan. When they were leaving the inner sanctum, getting down the stairs, the little boy grabbed with both hands one of the bars of the rail and started crying from the depth of his heart – he didn’t want to leave! The more the mother tried to make him leave, the tighter he was holding on to the bar and crying his heart out. When I saw this happening I felt a lot of compassion for this little one as he was reminding me of myself. My mind was commenting on the whole situation with “Oh, I understand you… I would do the same if I weren’t all grown up.”. Baba's love is just incomparable!
OM SAI RAM