Reflections in the Storm
Suffering has a way of bringing us to our knees, stripping away illusions and forcing us to confront the raw, unfiltered reality of life. In the midst of the storm, when pain becomes unbearable and resistance is no longer an option, a paradox emerges—letting go becomes the key to liberation.
As Rumi said, “The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” The storm, with all its chaos and intensity, has the power to break down the ego, grounding us in our bodies and connecting us to the present moment. It is within this vulnerability that transformation occurs, opening the door to new states of consciousness and revealing profound truths about existence. Being in the storm is not just a struggle; it is an invitation to transcend suffering and embrace the deeper essence of life.
I don’t know if I chose the spiritual path or if the spiritual path chose me, but as an immature teenager, I used to believe I was fully capable of walking it. Back then, I heard the phrase, “Spirituality is not for pussycats,” and it filled me with pride. I saw myself as a Tiger—strong, fearless, and ready to face anything. I thought I was destined for this journey. However, the reality has proven to be far more challenging and costly than I could have ever imagined.
What I failed to realize was the vast difference between swimming in a calm, safe pool and navigating the open ocean, with towering 10-meter waves crashing relentlessly over me. That vast, merciless ocean humbled me. It stripped away my pride and forced me to confront my limitations. It taught me to truly see both my strengths and weaknesses for what they are, without illusions or denial.
In the middle of the ocean, with no shore in sight and the water stretching endlessly in every direction, it often feels like drowning. And yet, I have come to understand that this is fierce grace—not the soft, comforting kind, but a raw and transformative force. It pushes me to my limits, stretching my endurance far beyond what I thought possible.
There are times when I feel tempted to turn back. The thought of returning to a simpler life—indulging in surface pleasures, avoiding the depth and intensity of this path—seems so inviting. That life appears easier, less demanding. But something within me has shifted. The call to go deeper is too powerful to ignore, no matter how fierce the waves.
One thing I’ve learned along this journey is that it is not wise to preach spirituality to others. The calling must come from within. If someone approaches this path out of mere curiosity or external persuasion, they will likely be overwhelmed by its weight. This journey demands sincerity, courage, and a profound readiness of the heart. Without that internal drive, the challenges of the path become unbearable.
The spiritual path is not for the faint-hearted. It is for those willing to be humbled, broken, and reshaped. It is a journey that tears you apart, stripping away all illusions and pretense, only to rebuild you stronger and deeper than before.
Now, as I stand in the eye of the cyclone, with nothing to hold onto, one thing remains—the practice I learned from the Siddhas through my beloved teacher, Pal Pandian. Through this practice, I touch a profound sense of stillness, like the warmth of a nurturing mother, nourishing me despite the harsh external circumstances surrounding me.
This sense of motherhood embraces me and never betrays me. It remains steadfast, never leaving me, even when everything and everyone else has let me down. This practice has been my only support—my unshakable anchor in the storm—when all else has failed.
Through this practice, vulnerability transforms into strength. It becomes the bridge that connects me to the very essence of life and existence itself. In embracing it, I uncover deeper truths—not just about myself, but about the interconnectedness of existence, about what it means to truly live and truly be.
As Rumi’s words remind us, our wounds, though painful, are the gateways for light and transformation. And it is through this light, that we rediscover the truth of who we are.